Divorce & Break-up

Team Ayu message from earlier this month...

To my overseas fans,

I wish to inform you theat i, ayumi hamasaki, instructes my lawyer to file for divorce on my behalf in the united states today.

At the time of our marriage, my husband and I decided to live in the united states. However, approximatetely two months later eastern japan was struck by a huge earthquake. As a result of this tragedy, I felt an overwhelming need to stay in my home county, and was forced to leave my husband alone for a long time.

My husband and I have made every effort to reach a compromise;

However, as time has passed we have grown apart. I no longer feel the same desire to move to the united states. Instead I feel that I must ask myself what I can continue to do for my country, here in japan. This has eclipsed the future I had originally envisaged with my husband, and it is for this reason that I have made this difficult decision.

It was with a grateful, but heavy heart that I read all the messages I received form my fans and the press congratulating me on my 1st wedding anniversary at the beginning of this month. It was then that I realized I had to face up to the inevitable truth that I had been avoiding.

At present, my husband is in los angeles pursuing his career as an actor in Hollywood. I would ask that my fans to respect his privacy and refrain from sending him messages or contacting him to ask for comement.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Ayumi Hamasaki

I was shocked. In disbelief. Sad. Confused.

I rooted for Ayu and Mannie for all of 2011, I was so happy for her, for them...

Yet little did I know or think, that two weeks later (after Ayu's message), I would be going through my very own break-up. I don't speak of my personal life very much on this blog, but to me this is sort of a lifestyle blog: life + style. Life. Much less style these days...

Not to make up excuses, but yes, I guess it is an excuse now. But this is why I've been away. Break-up with D.

Many things were not right for quite some time, there was a constant back and forth, no consistancy and it eventually pushed me to sit on the edge of the bridge (or on top of the fence if you want to be less dramatic) for a while.

There came a time I had to take a decision for myself, not for D., not for my friends or family, for me. Yes, I took the decision. Just like Ayu did. When I read her message, I didn't understand. But now I do.

As much as you might care for someone, it's important to take a decision for yourself, not to please others, not to spare the other their feelings. It might hurt for a while, but time heals all wounds and I'm glad I took my decision, I firmly believe now that it was the right thing to do.

I'm writing all of this in hopes that this might help someone else eventually.

It's OK, to take a decision for yourself. Just like it's OK to "ride the wave", "go with the flow" or "sit on the fence" for a while, as you think towards a decision.

No one pushed me to take this decision, in fact, I was very fortunate to be surrounded by such respectful people, that did not push me into thinking things or taking a decision I might regret.

If you don't know, then just let it go for a little while, and it will come to you eventually. Believe, and it will.

With every break-up I've taken the opportunity to change things in my life, I think many people do.

My 1st break-up, I changed everything. Moved out of town, new apartment, new job, new life. Previous break-up, didn't change job, didn't move, but I got a brand new car and I made new friends. Now this time around...

Well I started with a new hair color.

From my natural dark brown to a rich, more intense dark red. What do you think?

Next, I'm working on re-decorating my whole bedroom. Can't afford to re-decorate the whole house, but I spend a lot of time in my room, so I'm re-decorating it all. Can't change the layout of it, and I like my furniture, but I'll be changing bed sheets, lamps, curtains and probably wall color too.

Look forward to seeing pictures and reports on the whole re-decorating adventure. I've lived in this house for 4 years now and haven't re-decorated since. I think this will be a nice change, for a while anyway.

If I'm lucky... possibly a new layout for this gold old blog too. :)

Did you make any changes after your last break-up? If so, what did you change?